The New World Order
 

A blindfolded man sitting on a chair.

Two men (DES and LIONEL) looking at him.
 
   
DES Do you want to know something about this man?
   
LIONEL What?
   
DES He hasn't got any idea at all of what we're going to do to him.
   
LIONEL He hasn't, no.
   
DES He hasn't, no. He hasn't got any idea at all about any one of the number of things that we might do to him.
   
LIONEL That we will do to him.
   
DES That we will.
   
  Pause.
   
  Well. some of them. We'll do some of them.
   
LIONEL Sometimes we do all of them
   
DES That can be counterproductive.
   
LIONEL Bollocks.
   
  They study the man. He is still.
   
DES But anyway here he is, here he is sitting here, and he hasn't the faintest idea of what we might do to him.
   
LIONEL Well, he probably has the faintest idea.
   
DES A faint idea, yes. Possibly.
   
  DES bends over the man.
   
  Have you? What do you say?
   
  He straightens.
   
  Let's put it this way. He has little idea of what we might do to him, of what in fact we are about to do to him.
   
LIONEL Or his wife. Don't forget his wife. He has little idea of that we are about to do with his wife.
   
DES Well, he probably has some idea, he's probably got some idea. After all. he's read the papers
   
LIONEL What papers?
   
  Pause
   
DES You1re right there.
   
LIONEL Who is this cunt anyway? What is he, some kind of peasant - or a lecturer in theology?
   
DES He's a lecturer in fucking peasant theology.
   
LIONEL Is he? What about his wife?
   
DES Women don't have theological inclinations.
   
LIONEL Oh, I don't know. I used to discuss that question with my mother - quite often.
   
DES What question?
   
LIONEL Oh you know, the theological aspirations of the female.
   
  Pause
   
DES What did she say?
   
LIONEL She said ...
   
DES What?
   
  Pause.
   
LIONEL I can't remember.
   
  He turns to the man in the chair.
   
  Motherfucker.
   
DES Fuckpig
   
  They walk round the chair.
   
LIONEL You know what I find really disappointing?
   
DES What?
   
LIONEL The level of ignorance that surrounds us. I mean, this prick here -
   
DES You called him a cunt last time.
   
LIONEL What?
   
DES You called him a cunt last time. Now you call him a prick. How many times do 1 have to tell you? You've got to learn to define your terms and stick to them. You can't call him a cunt in one breath and a prick in the next. The terms are mutually contradictory. You'd lose face in any linguistic discussion group, take my tip.
   
LIONEL Christ. Would I?
   
DES Definitely. And you know what it means to you. You know what language means to you.
   
LIONEL Yes. I do know.
   
DES Yes, you do know. Look at this man here, for example. He's a first class example. See what I mean? Before he came in here he was a big shot, he never stopped shooting his mouth off, he never stopped questioning received ideas. Now - because he's apprehensive about what's about to happen to him - he's stopped all that, he's got nothing more to say, he's more or less called it a day. I mean once - not too long ago - this man was a man of conviction, wasn't he, a man of principle. Now he's just a prick.
   
LIONEL Or a cunt.
   
DES And we haven't even finished with him. We haven't begun.
   
LIONEL No, we haven't even finished with him. We haven't even finished with him! Well, we haven't begun.
   
DES And there's still his wife to come.
   
LIONEL That's right. We haven't finished with him. We haven't even begun. And we haven't finished with his wife either.
   
DES We haven't even begun
   
  LIONEL puts his band over his face and sobs.
   
  What are you crying about?
   
LIONEL I love it. I love it. I love it
   
  He grasps DES'S shoulder.
   
  Look. I have to tell you. I've got to tell you. There's no one else I can tell.
   
DES All right. Fine. Go on. What is it? Tell me.
   
  Pause.
   
LIONEL I feel so pure.
   
  Pause.
   
DES Well, you're right. You're right to feel pure. You know why?
   
LIONEL Why?
   
DES Because you're keeping the world clean for democracy.
   
  They look into each other's eyes.
   
DES I'm going to shake you by the hand.
   
  DES shakes LIONEL'S band. He then gestures to the man in the chair with his thumb.
   
  And so will he ...(he looks at his watch)... in about thirty-five minutes.

End.